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Submitted by: Unknown
Yore = A long fucking time ago.
Wear = Put a thing on your fucking body.
Ware = Shit you fucking sell.
Yea = Fucking YAY.
Yeah = Fucking A.
Both of the above, are AWESOME!
^–comma fucking splice, you stupid fucktard
Capitalization and punctuation. Glass houses and all.
*commits grammatical exorcism*
Begone ye evil spirit of incorrectness! Regress into thy foul den of misspellings!
Yea = A fucking archaic form of Yes.
Yay = Fucking Yay.
Yaw = A fucking twisting or oscillation of a moving ship or aircraft around a vertical axis.
A lot = A fucking large amount.
Alot = Not a fucking word.
YES! – I fucking love you because I hate people who don’t realize it is two god damn words!
Didn’t realize that the letter ‘A’ was a word. So then wouldn’t it be one word after one letter? Just puttin’ it out there.
Can’t tell if fucking trolling or just really this fucking stupid.
You must be A stupid person. A is A fucking word.
That’s fucking HILARIOUS.
Search the fucking Internet for a fucking blog post called “The Alot Is Better Than You At Everything”
She is Fucking AWESOME. read them fucking all.
I fucking agree. I so fucking did too.
Read ALL the posts? O.o’
The psuedo-word “alot” and the proper noun “Alot” are two fucking different things.
Alot = Not a fucking word
The Alot = Better than you at fucking everything
this is the greatest thing ever1!!12!!onwe
Alot = a fucking imaginary creature that Allie from Hyperbole and a Half made up to help her deal with her compulsive need to correct other people’s grammar.
Sorry, I couldn’t resist this one.
http://hyperboleandahalf.blogspot.com/2010/04/alot-is-better-than-you-at-everything.html
great fucking comment XD
About fucking time…
Now, if only people would actually remember this and use it in their everyday lives…
*there
I see what you did there.
Its a art
*an
and here’s the first victim.
C-c-c-combo breaker! BTW, how far to the side can we go?
To reiterate: Their: Shows fucking possession. There: Specifies a fucking location.
Trolling is a art.
Everyone’s an hero.
i think creepy is a pretty cool guy. eh trolls newfags and doesn’t afraid of anything.
In English the word fuck falls into many grammatical categories…
“Usage of the Word Fuck”. I love that bit. It is very educational.
Whoop-di-fucking-do.
…so use this versatile word more often.
I fucking will.
So use it loudly and proudly!
FUCK NO YOU FUCKIGN SON OF A BITCH FUCKING ORDERING ME THE FUCK ABOUT LIKE MY FUCKING MOTHER!!!!!
FUCK IS WRONG WITH PEOPLE THESE DAYS!?!?!?
As a transitive verb, for instance.
John FUCK-ed Shirley.
As an intransitive verb, Shirley FUCKS.
It’s meaning’s not always sexual;
it can be used as an adjective, such as
John’s doing all the FUCK-ing work.
‘its/it’s’ is actually an unusual one –
it’s = It FUCKING is
its = it FUCKING possesses some other FUCKING thing
Actually I see they’ve got it fucking covered down there, so fucking ignore this
You were right the first time, bro.
It’s meaning’s not always sexual = It is meaning is not always sexual.
Ha! Ha! Ha!
“Fuck the fucking fuckers”
Fuck! The fucking fucker’s fucked!
Fuck it.
Ta fucking da <3
I want Ryan to be my friend.
I want to punch Ryan in the face for being an 8×10 toolshed.
But at least he filled his toolshed with correct words.
Woah, yore knot bean fare!
*Woe
tool shed is one word, idiot.
Fail.
you’re my hero
That’s what your mom said ;D
Either you’re confused or you’re being ironic. Seems too sincere for trollage, but…head…hurts…
But yeah, it’s two words.
So why have you written it as two?
Mother of god…
Um, but you, you just…. What?
So fucking type it that way!!
A-A-A-Avatar combo breaker!
Finally – grammar kids will remember!
Grammar THAT kids will remember. Unless you’re talking about a group of people called “Grammar Kids”… And didn’t finish your sentence.
I still have a problem with “its” and “it’s”.
Then go and fucking learn about it then and stop boasting that you don’t get it. It’ll (IT WILL) take you two minutes.
Here:
its- belonging to (Aww look at its waggy tail)
it’s -it is (It’s a terrible shame about the blimmin’ rain, innit?)
you’re welcome
its = something that fucking well belongs to it
it’s = it fucking is
Its = Shows fucking possession
It’s = It fucking is
its – shows f…g posession
it’s – it f…g IS
you’re welcome:)
Its is possessive. It’s is short for it is.
It’s = It fucking is
Its = Shows fucking belonging to
It’s = It fucking is.
Its = Shows fucking possession.
“Its” meaning possession – “The dog sat down in front of the Bishop and my mother and began blithely licking its fucking genitals.”
“It’s” as a contraction for “It is” – “Oh, it’s fucking raining again!”
Quote: “Its” meaning possession – “The dog sat down in front of the Bishop and my mother and began blithely licking its fucking genitals.”
Uh… most important question: Whose balls licked your mother??? Dog’s or Bishop’s?
Lawl, wtf.
“Its” meaning possession – “The dog sat down in front of the Bishop and my mother and began blithely licking its fucking genitals.”
Uh…. did your mother lick the genitals of a dog or a bishop?
“Its” meaning possession – “The dog sat down in front of the Bishop and my mother and began blithely licking its fucking genitals.”
Uh… whose genitals got licked by your mother? Dog’s or Bishop’s?
So, everyone told orly the answer, but no one gave hir a way to remember it.
Possessive pronouns don’t have apostrophes in English (generally). If you’re not sure, check by substituting “he” for “it”: if you get “his”, use “its” and if you get “he’s” use “it’s.”
It’s that simple.
*hi’s
I’m (I am) glad that someone finally said that.
If we could get a few more people to explain this here, that would be great. Thanks.
It’s not that hard (it is not that hard)
When it uses its brain (the brain belongs to it)
It’s never been so easy (It has never been so easy)
Re-Fucking-Tard.
It puts the lotion on its skin, or it gets the hose again.
same. i know it but i never feel confident when i have to use them.
Yeah, you and 99.9% pf the rest of the internet.
Note: It’s/its is not a special case; ALL possessive personal pronouns are written without apostrophes, without exception:
(mine)
ours
yours
his
hers
theirs
its
You can add “whose” to that list; although it’s not a personal pronoun, it’s like the above in that it’s a pronoun (I think it’s called an interrogative pronoun) that is commonly confused with its contraction-form homonym (who’s) on the internet.
Does that help any of those 99.9%? No? Oh, well…
That actually helped me considerably! Thanks!
Do – a deer, a fucking deer
Re – a drop of fucking sun
Mi – I fucking call myself
Fa – fucking long way to run
Sol- just fucking pulling thread
La – to fucking follow so
Ti – a drink with fucking bread
Fucking bring us back to Do
100 internets to you, sir.
it’s so.
Not Sol.
Witty though.
it actually *is* Sol, as in solfège, or solfeggio in Italian.
Just sayin’
It is too spelled Sol. I took piano for seven years, violin for six, and voice lessons for four. I think I would know.
+1
Not Sol but So (rhymes with SEW, hence the needle pulling thead)
No. It’s most definitely spelled “sol,” but pronounced “so.” Choir nerds will know this.
true that……XD….wait o_O im not a nerd
^Hahaha, thank you for this. This should be the official version.
OMG IT SO FUCKING SHOULD!!!
Mind blown.
i was thinking something similar. well done.
<3
its = shows fucking possesion
it’s = a fucking contraction of “it is”
its = fucking belongs to it.
it’s = it fucking is.
this is the kind of mistakes only native speakers do:)
English learners may use wrong words, construct their sentences in a weird way, their language sound stilted, but these things they will mostly get right:)
These are the kinds of mistakes only native speakers make. ESL students may use incorrect words, construct their sentences in a strange way and have a stilted-sounding language; but they mostly get these things correct.
EFL students are f*cked up.
just because you say fuck doesn’t make it funny.
U mad?
Good one.
but I think it’s fucking funny!
It so fucking does!
fuck yeah it does!
That’s funny!
Yes it fucking does.
Sometimes it fucking is.
‘There = They f**king are.’
Did ‘They’ really require a capital T? As far as I am aware ‘They’, in this situation, does *not* require a capital T.
Hey, um, Grammar Nazi? You’re doing it wrong.
This entire board is one big flame war fail-fest.
Well, aside from the fact that you took two separate lines, because “They f***ing are” went with “They’re,” not “There,” yes, the capital letter was (strictly speaking) unnecessary. However, I think he was using capitals after each = symbol as a way of making the formatting more understandable, since each phrase following *can* be a stand-alone sentence. But who’s counting?
Way to pay attention. They’re not their, smart one.
Yes it fucking does.
Now if these fuckers would finally understand “a lot” everything would be awesome.
^This.
A lot? That’s nothing. The real problem is than/then.
jk its funny im a faggot
Why fucking not?
“Hoard” – cache of archaeological treasure, usually discovered by detectorists; also, in fiction, the accumulated treasure of dragons and monsters
“Horde” – A large group of people; an army or tribe of nomadic warriors; a loosely knit small social group typically consisting of about five families
In school, I remember the headmaster sending two kids to detention over a fight over the spelling of this particular word. Turned out that one kid was violently objecting because the other kid was saying that the first kid’s mother had “hoard around” with the second kid’s Dad.
That’s hilarious.
I think he/she meant that his/her mother had “whored around.” Unfortunately, “whored” isn’t even a proper word, in itself. While this is already apparent, i thought i would spell it out for the… how should i put this delicately, grammatically challenged. I don’t want them to think that “hoarding around” is something they can say about peoples mothers on facebook. Thank you for your patience.
And please ignore my horrible capitalization i just pointed out. and my misuse of commas that make things annoying to read. i do that sometimes.
I hate to be the bearer of bad news, but Merriam-Webster actually *does* recognize the verb form of whore. Therefore, “whored” (even though MS Word doesn’t recognize it) is technically a valid word in the English language. Then again, so is “ain’t,” according to multiple reference books, which drives me crazy as an outhouse rat.
Ain’t was a bastardized contraction of “am not.” Since “amn’t” is just effin weird, they changed it to “ain’t.” But most people couldn’t figure out that it only works when preceded by “I” as opposed to “you,” “we,” “they,” etc.
As has been explained to me.
Sorry you don’t understand how dictionaries work. They list words that are in common usage. You can’t expect a proper dictionary to leave out an extremely common word just because it isn’t used in formal speech.
Please make a whoosh sound as you pass you flattened hand over your head in a front-to-back (anterior-to-posterior) direction.
Also:
Two is a fucking number 2.
Too is a fucking adverb that means in addition, also, furthermore, moreover.
To is a fucking preposition used for expressing motion or direction toward a point, person, place, or thing approached and reached.
Allot is a fucking verb used with object to divide or distribute by share or portion; distribute or parcel out.
A lot is a fucking idiom meaning very many, a large number, very much.
How difficult is it to learn this? This is a rhetorical question.
very many …
I love the rhetorical question bit at the end. Although a lot of people need specification sometimes. No shortage of morons, fucktards, or twidiots.
Rogue – A fucking scoundrel.
Rouge – Fucking makup that goes on your cheeks.
Loose – You have a loose fucking pussy.
Lose – You fucking lose, because you are a fucking loser!
Or for the comic book fans:
Rogue – a fucking member of the goddamn X-Men.
Rouge – a fucking villain that fights the goddamn Doom Patrol, usually has “Madame” as part of her title.
Oh, and while I’m thinking about it:
Villain – the fucking antagonist of the motherfucking story.
Villian – you fucking spelling “villain” wrong, asshole.
BUMP
Makup? You lose.
Our – Shows fucking possession.
Are – Singular fucking second person present tense and plural fucking first, second, and third person tense of “be.”
Hour – 60 fucking minutes
And let’s not forget
Arrr = What a fucking pirate says.
I was going to include “Hour” just because of “Our”, but your response is superior.
Then = A fucking point in time.
Than = As fucking opposed to.
(God, that really gets my goat.)
OMFG at all the fucking split infinitives used by Ryan.
pique (n) – a fucking feeling of irritation or resentment
pique (v) – to fucking stimulate interest or curiosity
peak – the top of a fucking mountain
clique – a group of people who won’t let you fucking join them
click – the sound made when you hit a mouse button or when I release the safety prior to blowing your fucking brains out because of your horrible grammar
piqué – a type of fucking cloth
pick – I fucking choose you! (Or alternatively a tool used for digging)
impact = striking fucking forcefully
affect = having a fucking effect on
Yes, some dictionaries define impact as “having an effect on,” but that’s because of its colloquial usage and it’s just fucking wrong.
(We didn’t have enough its/it’s examples.)
This has no IMPACT on my ability to use the word impact correctly. fucking moron
Thank you. Just thank you.
Now would some clever person please do ‘not’, ‘knot’, ‘nought’ and ‘naught’?
Thank you.
Then – adverb, specifies a fucking time or fucking next item in a sequence
Than – conjunction, used when fucking comparing shit
What about when you fucking compare fucking time?
Then this would be older than this.
This guys has a lot more time than this clock.
Then the time was more than you had.
*These guys have* or *This guy has* – You can’t use a plural with a singular -nyancat-
You know what bugs the shit out of me? Nuclear being mispronounced. It’s (Hey look, proper use of It is) one way to instantly lose all credibility with me. Seriously, if Oppenheimer himself mispronounced it, he would immediately cease to be an authority on the subject.
Say it with me:
NEWK-LEE-URRRRR
I don’t give a fuck what GW Bush has to say on the matter. It is not and never has been:
NOOK-YUH-LARRR
Don’t know about Oppenheimer, but Jimmy Carter pronounced it ‘nukular’ and he had more up close and personal experience with nuclear power than any other US president.
even better – quebec being pronounced semi-phonetically as “kyoo-bek” rather than “kuh-bek”
my world geography teacher in high school had some sort of speech impediment that caused disability to pronounce quebec in the correct fashion. drove me bonkers.
Actually it is pronounced kay-bec if you want to say it as the locals do, and who woud know better than those who live there? Kuh – bec is as bad a mis-speak as kyoo-bec
would not woud , sorry for the spelling mistake
U = a letter of the fucking alphabet
You = that’s fucking *you* I’m talking to! You mad?
[and while we're fucking at it...]
Weiner = a Germanic surname, rhymes with fucking Whiner
Wiener = a Germanic sausage (and/or penis), rhymes with fucking Tina
Thank you for the fucking Weiner bit. (That sounds fucking dirty)
There are still many more than get on my fucking wick.
“Would of”
“Drownded”
“I’am”
I can’t be arsed writing the corrections and meanings of each. I’d much prefer to expend the energy by beating people that get it wrong with a brick.
“When he would of drownded he did died.”
“When he would of drownded, he did done died, dead.”
What’s “I’am”?
*that gets* on YOUR fucking wick
I want to see all these comments brought together into a classroom setting. We’ll call it: Education 101 – How to Fucking Learn Some Words and Numbers and Shit
Would’ve = would fucking have
Would of = what is this, I don’t even…
THANK YOU. I can never get these through people’s thick fucking skulls. Also.
Definite: certain
definate: what!!!?!?!?
Grammar is defiantly hard.
could have – that could have fucking happened
could of – makes no fucking sense!!
goddamn fuck should be used as an article so that we can make a sentence out of it
I love this so much I wish it was tangible so I could hug it.
My biggest pet peeve is the misuse of “Then” and “Than”. It really makes me think what they were taught in English class when they were kids. English is not even my first language and it still drives me insane to have to educate many people about the correct use of these words on a daily basis.
No, I am not a teacher.
._.
What about A and fucking AN – seriously!
“I’ve had an hard day.” – seriously! WTF? This makes no sense!
The correct use here is – “I’ve had A hard day.”
There must be AN easier way to explain this ….
This reminds me of a leadership course I took some months ago; on the first day of the course, we were given grammar tests to determine where we stood in regards to proper punctuation, spelling, sentence structure, etc. Out of 12 people, I was the only one not required to complete a “grammar packet”, because I knew how the fuck to use the English language.
I don’t think they liked me very much after that, though…
The comments are almost fucking funnier than the post!
Past vs. passed. Those two words are constantly confused.
Past – That was in the fucking past. I walked past the fucking barn.
Passed – I passed by the fucking barn. I passed my fucking class.
Arrr – said by fucking pirates!!
I have to fucking share this with people!
Fucking awesome. Now I need to pare a fucking pair of fucking pears.
Yeah, another annoying one. “I should of called you!”
That one just fucking irritates me.
The funny thing is, people are so fucking stupid, that you explain it to them, and they continue to fail! You can’t explain that!
But, just to clarify…
Should have – “Did you call? Yes I have called/No I have not!”
Should of – “I’m fucking stupid.”
Word, above comment is TL;DR – just noticed a similar comment. I’m gonna go beat children with bars of soap in a pillow case.
This is the most epic of wins ever posted. One billion internets to everyone involved.
when does it fucking end?
I believe I will integrate these lessons (from the post and the comments) into my middle school language arts curriculum. The sentiments expressed here regarding poor grammar were my main inspiration for pursuing teaching in the first place. Thank you all.
Boner
Who is joining whom where?
Cathy and John are going on an adventure overseas.
The two of us were chosen to go on the adventure too.
We’re ready to join them on their trip over there when they’re finsihed packing.
Who and whom are pet peeves of mine…care to chime in anyone?
*finished*
Let us not forget the origin of the word “fuck”.
Anagram: Fornication.Under.Consent (of the).King
Old English law, look it up people.
You STILL believe this?
ht tp://www.snopes.com/language/acronyms/fuck.asp
Sorry, i did that wrong.
You STILL fucking believe this?
Well… Fuck
Congratulations sir I do fucking believe that fucking entitles you to half of my fucking internetz and your choice of one of my fucking wives.
Urban legend. It’s from the German “ficken”, to strike.
Voilà – To fucking reveal or call attention to something
Viola – A fucking musical instrument
…and voi-fucking-la.
@Margaret
not – the fucking opposite of is
knot – ties stuff the fuck together
nought – the fucking number before one
naught -fucking nada
so
nought – nill
naught – nada
?
This is a lot to learn
And how about those popular non-words:
Unloosen = means to fucking tighten something
Unthaw = means to freeze some fucking thing
Irregardless = a double fucking negative
BTW; jewelry is ALWAYS pronounced JOO-ELL-REE, never JOO-LER-EE.
And realtor is ALWAYS pronounced REEL-TOR, never REE-LEH-TOR.
Actually, “jewellery” is an accepted spelling of “jewelry,” thus if you acknowledge that “jewel” can be pronounced “JOOL,” “JOOL-ER-EE” would be an acceptable pronunciation.
except when it’s JOOL-REE
(which I think I might say sometimes, but it’s lame.)
Here’s one I didn’t see covered:
Athlete = two syllables, not three
Calvary – the site at which Jesus is said to have been crucified.
Cavalry – soldiers on horseback, the guy with the bugle, etc.
Failblog after dark: a whole fucking ton of goddamm fucking unmoderated shit comments.
Holy shit they are moderated?
The one that chaps my arse:
different than
One cannot “differ than” something, one can only “differ from” something, therefore one can only be different from something.
What amazes and saddens me is how often people who get paid to write for a living use this fucked up phrase, i.e. journalists, technical writers, copywriters. Morons.
Get a brain! Morans
and yet the brits persist with “different to”. it is annoying, ain’t it?
Morans – does not fucking exist – unless used in singular form for places or an Irish surname.
Morons – the plural for a Moron, which is a disused term for a person with a low mental age, and a common insult for a person considered stupid (or just a generic insult). Darwin would NOT be proud of you CharlieParker!
No brain! No gain!
It’s called “splitting an infinitive”, and yeah, it chafes my arse too. (Apologies for the spelling, I’m an Aussie so I use English rather than American spelling).
Do – a deer, a female fucking deer.
Doe – a deer, a female fucking dear
Do – to perform a fucking task
FAIL = not a noun
medium – fucking singular
media – fucking plural
datum – fucking singular
data – fucking plural
Television is a medium. Print is a medium. Radio is a medium. Etc… Collectively, they are “the media”.
“The data show that the media are biased in this case.”
Fucking Fuckers fucked fuckly doodle fuck.
Sweet baby Jesus Turtle Fucking Christ!
-trollface-
Do: A female fucking deer
Re: A Drop of fucking sun
Mi: A name I call my fucking self
Fa: A fucking long long way to run
So: A needle pulling a fucking thread
La: A fucking not to follow So
Ti: A drink with jam and fucking bread
That would fucking bring us back to Do.
Youz gys arent funny why doesn’t youse mind you’re bizness!!!
Youz gys arent funny why doesn’t youse mind you’re bizness!!! Grammer Natzis!!
Maybe if you went to school, people wouldn’t assume by your useless spelling and grammAr (note: not grammer) that you’re only saying this because all these people have made you feel bad about yourself by righting so many of your common mistakes.
The misspellings, etc. were done deliberately. It’s making fun of people who post things like this.
Wow.
You all feel the need to just use swear words? It’s not “cool.” You kiss your mother with that mouth? What the world has come to since the time of Jesus.
They aren’t coming out of our mouths…. Users actually typing them. So unless were fingering our mothers it’s cool.
Lol.
You, person, are fucking awesome. That would be a little fucking incestuous. I may be Southern, but that’s a bit much for me.
*we’re
You forget that the time of Jesus was also the time of the Roman Empire. As ruins show in Pompeii, the Romans were a bunch of randy cunts. Pretty sure that married men visiting brothels is worse than swearing, or is that just me? You, sir/ma’am, are a dick. Not only that, you also appear to be poorly educated. This puts no doubt in my mind that you are American.
Don’t fucking read it if it bothers you so fucking much! This is “After Dark” after all …
This is the best fucking comment thread ever in the history of anything. I fucking love you guys.
I want to marry everyone here who swears like a fucking trooper. You’re all flippin’ marvelous. Top Cunts.
What about ‘lit’ and ‘lighted’?
‘She lit a candle.’
‘She lighted a candle.”
or ‘pled’ and ‘pleaded’?
“She pled guilty.”
“She pleaded guilty.”
Nobody touched upon affect and effect yet?
Come on guys, get with the fucking programme.
It’s too bad George Carlin is fucking dead. He loved this kind of shit.
There is a HUGE difference between a Verb (a doing word) and a Noun (a naming word) – shame on you for not knowing.
Affect (verb)- “to act upon, influence, affect, attack with disease”
*The experience affected me deeply.
*The heat of the sunlight affected the speed of the chemical reaction.
*He was deeply affected by the themes in the play.
*Hepatitis affects the liver.
——–*———
Effect (noun) – “accomplish, complete, do, effect”
*The effect of flying was most convincing.
*I use an echo effect here to make the sound more mysterious.
*I just bought a couple of great effects.
*The new law will come into effect on the first day of next year.
*Please place your personal effects in your locker.
fucking fuckety fuck fuck.
Fucking – Something Im doing to your father
Gu-fuckin-ffaw.
Dick VanDyke never cleaned a fuckin’ chimley!
Yeah, but he does some pretty good computer graphics. (Really.)
I can’t believe out of all these comments, the biggest flub in English was missed.
Like- a fucking SIMILE
NOT a fucking adjective I like fucking like hate it when like people are so fucking like so stupid I want to like fucking MURDER them!
Reading this thread made me think of the following scene:
“Fucking… What the fucking fuck? Who the fuck fucked this fucking… How did you two fucking fucks… Fuck!”
“Well, that certainly demonstrates the diversity of the word.”
Look guys, we can all sit here arguing about random shit, or we can listen to “California Girls” By Katy Perry and circle jerk onto an unwilling zebra. YOUR CALL, I KNOW YOU GUYS WILL MAKE THE RIGHT DECISION.
Affect = To fucking act upon.
[This fucking helpful guide wont affect most of you fuckers.]
Effect =Fucking accomplish, complete or do.
[Jumping off a fucking cliff will have the effect of fucking killing you.]
Medium = fucking singular
[Television is a fucking medium.]
Media = fucking plural
[Television, radio, and the internet are all fucking forms of media.]
Calvary = Where Jesus was fucking crucified.
[Jesus fucking died at fucking Calvary]
Cavalry = Fucking soldiers on fucking horseback.
[Call in the fucking cavalry!]
Not = The fucking opposite of is.
[That's not what I fucking said!]
Knot = Ties stuff the fuck together.
[There's a fucking knot in my hair]
Nought = The fucking number Zero.
[One minus One is nought.]
Naught = fucking nothing.
[It was all for naught.]
Voilà = To fucking call attention to something.
[I did a fucking magic trick, voilà.]
Viola = A fucking musical instrument.
[My fucking friend plays the fucking viola.]
Past = Fucking previous to the fucking Present.
[All of your stupid fucking mistakes are in the past.]
Passed = Having fucking gone by or succeeded.
[I passed my fucking test!]
Should have = Fucking planned, intended, or expected to do.
[I should have fucking killed you when I had the chance.]
Could have = Was fucking capable of doing.
[You could have been a fucking man about it.]
Would have = Was fucking going to do.
[I would have gotten away with it, if it wasn't for those fucking kids and their fucking dog.]
Should of; Could of; Would of = NOT FUCKING RIGHT.
Then = Specifies a fucking time or fucking next item in a sequence.
[First you fucking do this, then you fucking do that.]
Than = Used when fucking comparing shit.
[You can fucking do better than this.]
Pique = To fucking stimulate interest or curiosity.
[That was so fucking cool that my interest has been piqued.]
Peak = The limit of fucking anything.
[At the peak of his anger, he shot that fucking bitch in the face.]
Clique = a group of people who won’t let you fucking join them.
[The Jock clique is full of fucking retards.]
Click = the fucking sound made when I release the safety prior to blowing your fucking brains out because of your horrible grammar.
Villain = the fucking antagonist of the motherfucking story.
[Fucking everyone ran in fucking fear of the villain.]
Villian = you fucking spelling “villain” wrong, asshole.
Loose = The fucking opposite of tight.
[Damn, bitch. You're fucking loose as fuck!]
Lose = To fucking fail.
[You lose the game motherfucker!]
Rogue = A fucking scoundrel.
[Fucking Robin Hood was considered a Fucking rogue.]
Rouge = Fucking makeup.
[Bitch, put some Rouge on. Your face is fucking nasty. ]
Two = The fucking number 2.
[There are two fucking trees in my fucking backyard.]
Too = As fucking well.
[There's a fucking tree in my fucking front yard, too.]
To = A fucking direction toward a point, person, place, or thing.
[What's this world coming to when people cant understand the difference between to, too, and two?]
Allot = to fucking divide or distribute by share or portion.
[You will have as much as we fucking allot you.]
A lot = very fucking much.
[This is a lot of fucking information to take in.]
Alot = You forgot the fucking space in “A lot”, or the extra fucking “L” in “Allot”, asshole.
Hoard = A bunch of fucking treasure.
[A hoard of fucking gold]
Horde = A bunch of fucking people.
[A horde of fucking zombies]
Whored = To have acted like a fucking whore.
[Your mom whored around a lot in school.]
Ain’t = A fucking bastardized contraction of “am not”, only used properly after “I”.
[I ain't dealing with your shit.]
Aren’t = A fucking contraction of “are not”, used properly after “you”, “we”, “they”, etc. [They aren't dealing with your shit.]
Isn’t = A fucking contraction of “is not”, only used properly after “he”, “she”, or “it”. [She isn't dealing with your shit.]
Its = fucking belonging to it. (no fucking apostrophe)
[Its fucking leg is broken.]
It’s = it fucking is.
[It's a good fucking day to die.]
Are = Singular fucking second person present tense and plural fucking first, second, and third person tense of “be.”
[You are fucking stupid.]
Hour = 60 fucking minutes.
[I'll fucking be there in an hour, leave me the fuck alone!]
Our = (before the noun in question.) fucking belonging to us.
[It's our shit]
Ours = (after the noun in question.) fucking belonging to us.(no fucking apostrophe)[That shit is ours]
Yore = A long fucking time ago.
[Back in the days of yore, people fucking knew how to fucking spell.]
You’re = fucking contraction of “you are”.
[You're fucking stupid.]
Your = (before the noun in question.) fucking belonging to you.
[It's your shit]
Yours = (after the noun in question.) fucking belonging to you. (no fucking apostrophe)[That shit is yours]
His = fucking belonging to him. (no fucking apostrophe)
[It's his shit]/[That shit is his.]
Her = (before the noun in question.) fucking belonging to her.
[It's her shit]
Hers = (after the noun in question.) fucking belonging to her. (no fucking apostrophe) [That shit is hers]
There = Specifies a fucking location.
[It's right fucking there.]
They’re = fucking contraction of “They are”.
[They're all gonna fucking die.]
Their = (before the noun in question.) fucking belonging to them.
[It's their shit.]
Theirs = (after the noun in question.) fucking belonging to them. (no fucking apostrophe)
[That shit is theirs.]
Whom = fucking used when “who” comes after a fucking preposition.
[To whom am I fucking speaking?]
[And these fucking people, many of whom are assholes...]
Whose = to fucking specify possession.
[Whose shit is this?]
Who’s = fucking contraction of “who is” or “who has”
[And this fucking asshole, who's going to hell, killed four fucking kittens with an apple.]
[Who's been fucking with my shit?]
We’re = fucking contraction of “we are”.
[We're fucked.]
Were = past fucking tense of are.
[You were playing like shit today, what the fuck is your problem?]
Where = specifying a fucking location.
[Where the fuck are my fucking keys?]
Wear = fucking putting something on your fucking body.
[I fucking hate to wear fucking shoes.]
Ware = shit that you fucking sell.
[Feel fucking to fucking browse our fucking wares.]
Bear = a fucking animal.
[Oh shit, that's a fucking bear.]
Bare= has fucking nothing on it.
[She ran bare-assed to the car to get her pants.]
More to come? Fucking maybe.
Accept = To f****** say f****** yes. (I’m planning to accept the offer.)
Except = When one f****** thing is different. (Everyone knows how to use proper grammar except you.)
All right – fucking A
Alright – NOT a fucking word
(my pet peeve)